The year was 1995, and a little film called Clueless was released.
For the whole summer, and many seasons afterwards, me and my BFF dropped “whatever” “loser” “betties” “total monet” and “as if”s…as if they were going out of style. I also distinctly me and my BFF standing at a pay phone after a dress-up party, where she in her LBD a la Cher, wailed into the receiver to her dad that “they made me get on the ground and ruin my dress.” [It wasn’t an Alia.]
Oh ’90s. I miss you. A lot.
Amy Heckerling is a genius. She gave us lines like this:
I eventually got older and watched director Amy Heckerling’s Fast Times At Ridgemont High, but found it much more depressing and gritty than the John Hughes ’80s I wanted to remember. I did my best to block it from my mind, and other than inheriting a cat named after Phoebe Cates, I just don’t think about it.
Fast forward to some time last year. I love cult classic films. Movies like Heathers, Cry-Baby, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show filled my VHS-turned-DVD shelves but most of all my heart. I love the misfits, with their hearts of gold or sometimes tarnished brass.
I was excited to hear Heckerling was tackling vampires. When I was in middle school, I was obsessed with Bram Stoker’s Dracula, a cult movie in it’s own right based off of Keanu Reeves’ performance and Winona Ryder impersonating Maggie Smith’s accent. But it lead me back to my first love–words–and I’ve read Dracula numerous times.
Then that whole Twilight thing happened.
I wanted to like it, but ended up laughing over the ridiculous amount of sparkle motion and Kristen Stewart’s constant mouth breathing and emoting. Modern vampires deserve better then this. They certainly shouldn’t be driving middle-size sedans.
A chick flick about two girl vampires in New York City enjoying eternal life and looking for love. Alicia Silverstone plays Goodie, a vamp who was turned in the late 1800s. She loves black and white films, predicts the weather with her almanac, and hates tweeting and other social media. Her BFF, Stacy, was turned in the 1980s, and has no idea how old Goodie really is. Sleeping by day, the party girls attend college classes and Extended Life Form (ELF) support group by night and also work as rodent exterminators since they don’t feast on human love.
STEPHANIE MEYER? ARE YOU THERE? THAT MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE THAN YOUR SILLY VEGAN VAMPIRES.
I won’t say much more because this movie deserves to be watched rather than just explained. The same structure and terminology that made Clueless at hit is there. And Alicia is still as radiant and kooky as she was in Clueless. I love Goodie’s fashion sense, from her rag curls (to keep from getting coffin hair) to her drop-waist dresses, which she swears are coming back in style because she saw Keira Knightley wear one.
Oh, yeah, and Sigouney Weaver is terrifically awesome as a baddie.
Whether you’re missing the ’90s or left underwhelmed by Twilight mania, Vamps is a film worth watching.